🤯 🤪 5 Tips On Calming The Chaos In Your Mind 🧘🏾‍♂️ 🧘🏻‍♀️

I am getting asked a lot right now about how can we calm the chaos in our minds ? 🤯  🤪  

We live in a culture that fosters an overactive mind. It creates worry, frustration, dissatisfaction, sleeplessness, and a feeling that no matter what your life is like, something (or many things) about it needs to be different. 

Your mind creates an internal chaotic war, and you think the way to peace is through continuous self-improvement. Or, you fixate on changing something outside of you or improving your other half or kids or others around you.

Here’s the bottom line: You will never feel the contentment, joy, love and satisfaction you want in your life with this inner battle going on. To stop it, you need to STOP listening to the chronic chaos in your mind.

The word of the year for 2020 will undoubtedly be “uncertainty” or "fear". We are living in a time of anxiety; our daily lives are changing from moment to moment.  Never, in 16 years of being an executive coach, have I seen such rampant, chronic, and intense anxiety in the people I work with.  Even those who are not naturally anxious now feel anxious. I am seeing a lot of people melting down from all the things to worry about. 

To feel afraid right now is natural, and to some degree, realistic. There’s no way you can be walking this earth without being inundated by constant and very real threats to our own day to day living.  If we’re upset by what’s happening, it’s because we’re connected to reality. The answer is not to become a positive nelly or Polly Ana type with rose-colored glasses and convince ourselves that all is well.  Things are pretty messed up right now and uncertain, but living in denial or delusion is not a solution. But I am here to tell you that YOU CAN  maintain a sense of inner peace or well-being in a world that is legitimately quite worryingly all over the place>... The key to your peace and contentment is within you. Recognize that the internal response to your life circumstances determines how you feel and think about yourself and your life, not the circumstances themselves.

So how do you calm your inner chaos? Here are some daily practices to keep it at bay:

1: Get Back to You

First tip is to Get back to you...remember that what consumes our minds controls our lives. It’s important to acknowledge our feeling of fear and helplessness, and to remind ourselves, with kindness and patience, that it’s okay to be afraid. But acknowledgment is not enough. We also need to ask ourselves, some questions:  “What do I need to let go of right now to be calm?” In other words, what thoughts are causing chaos in your mind?  Set a timer for 5 minutes and ask yourself this question repeatedly. Write down the responses that come to mind.

Then ask yourself a second question:  “What do I have to be grateful for?” Set the timer for another 5 minutes, and write down the responses.  What you learn in these 10 minutes has the power to change your whole life!

Also consider Who do I want to be in this world the way it is? How do I want to show up in this world we’re now presented with?  No matter what’s going on in our external world, we need to live with a sense of intention. Are we living our own life from a place of peace ... or chaos? Are we being the change we long for ... part of the problem or the solution? Its important for us to take care of our own side of the street and be extra-conscious of what we’re offering our environment in distress, and what we're contributing to the people in it, no matter what chaos is transpiring elsewhere. Brendon Burchard talks a lot about reminding yourself of three words that you would love to have someone else describe you as a person that you would be happy with. What would those words be and set them up as alarms in your phones to remind yourself of daily or hourly... So be it – knowledgeable, approachable, influential, caring, energetic, humble, grateful, loving.. set up the key reminders to bring you back to you... Setup as alarms 4-5 times during the day.. Test it out... See how it can make a difference.

2: Use your Power to Choose

It’s also important to investigate what we’re doing to ourselves that contributes to our fear. Are we, in some way, exacerbating our own anxiety, ingesting fear when we ultimately want to calm down? Are we watching and reading too much news? What kind of news gives us the best chance at feeling calm? Do we feel better when we read the paper as opposed to getting our news on television? Simultaneously, it’s important to examine how the people in our life impact our level of fear. It’s wise to remove ourselves from those who ratchet up our anxiety or encourage hopelessness. If we can’t remove ourselves, we can inform others of our intention to opt out of the conversations that intensify our distress. The company we keep, and how it affects us, is of utmost importance in times like this.

Choose to Let Go: Sometimes, you’re afraid to let go of the thoughts you fixate on because these fixations become part of your identity. I often hear my clients say, “I don’t know who I would be if I wasn’t trying to fix or control that part of my life.” You focus on past mistakes because you think holding on to the shame and regret will prevent you from making the same mistakes again. You worry about the future because you think worrying about it will somehow let you control its outcomes.  To create an immediate sense of inner calm and peace, start a daily practice of letting go of past regret and future worry, and consciously direct your mind to right here, right now.

Heres the deal- Events happens... Things happens... Its not what happens to us that gives us the outcome but its HOW WE RESPOND to hat happens...

"Event plus Response equals Outcome” and here's what it means: Events happen but it's how we control our response gives us a different outcome.

3: Take Action and Move

Another step we can take to promote internal well-being is to initiate action, no matter how small or large—to do something that feels positive. This time feels frightening, in part, because of our sense of powerlessness.
Doing anything that gives us a sense of control  - add value somewhere… donating ten dollars to firefighters, contributing to a community service org , giving up plastic straws, all of it can in fact help us feel calmer and more in control of our lives. 

Note the Physical Responses You Have to Chaotic Thinking: Every thought you have creates a physical response in your nervous system, and an emotional feeling in your body. Yet, you often allow your mind to go wherever it wants to go, without taking control over the direction it goes. 

Pay attention to the emotional and physical responses in your body when your mind goes to that chaotic, negative place. Does your neck get tense?  Do you have knots in your stomach?  Do you feel run down or cranky?  These physical reactions are a sign that you need to get your mind in check.

There are plenty of studies about the positive effects exercise and movement can have on stress, depression, and anxiety. If the situation causing the chaos you’re experiencing isn’t one that would prevent you from physical exercise, then even the smallest physical exertion can help you cope with the challenging situations of your life.

 The Mayo Clinic says that any kind of exercise will help you relieve stress and better manage your emotions, feelings, and unbearable moments.  

In fact, anything from yoga and swimming to walking, Pilates, or Crossfit can spark the chemical process in your brain that will help you stay calm in your chaos.

Exercise creates endorphins. The famous line in Legally Blonde was more than just a catchy quote that’s been turned into memes and athletic apparel. Exercise does give you endorphins, which do make you happy. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that give your brain the fantastic feeling that’s also known as runner’s high. The feeling, though, can come from any kind of exercise.

Rhythm and routine create relaxation: There are times when you just need to get your mind off of the situation. Undoubtedly, it is the reason so many people find solace in running, walking, biking, and other activities that gets them into a set groove. Keeping the cadence and focusing on the repetition gives you a welcome distraction from your emotions at that moment. Boost your brainpower — and your self-confidence, sleep, and mood.The benefits of exercise are many. Even if it feels like there is much work to be done to overcome your situation and the stress that usually accompanies chaos. Taking time for yourself allows you to set aside the worry, anxiety, stress, and troubles for a period of time. When you’re done, you’ll feel better physically and mentally.

4:  Stimulate your Brain – Use It or Lose It 

Your brain is not a fixed structure, as we once believed; it is malleable. You can change the shape of your brain using certain techniques, just as you change the shape of your body through diet and exercise. Neuroplasticity is the term scientists use to describe this amazing fact.

Mindfulness, for example, has been proven to increase activity in the left side of the brain, which is associated with well-being and happiness.

But beware: if your world becomes too small, full of old habits, left unchallenged, the brain will use less of its resources and your prime real estate will shrink!!

When you challenge yourself to new learning hobbies, ideas, you  open up your world, physically changing the way your brain works. When you step out of your comfort zone and learn new skills all the time you are maximising your usage of your brain. Use it or lose it... This is why you should never stop learning and challenging yourself, whether you are 18 or 80.

5: Release the Valve with Help

As human beings, we abhor uncertainty. Even negative certainty, knowing that things will go wrong, is sometimes preferable to not knowing what's going to happen. When the future feels profoundly uncertain, as it does now, we react by filling in the uncertainty with negative certainties ... what if scenarios and potential disasters. We convince ourselves of a catastrophic future. As odd as it seems, the certainty of a catastrophic future feels more tolerable than not knowing what's to come. But we can control this mental habit, and deliberately stop ourselves from creating disastrous what if narratives, refrain from our tendency to catastrophizing.  Simultaneously, we can bring our attention back to this moment, now; we can feel our feet on the floor and acknowledge that, in this moment, we are actually okay, our survival is not at risk.  And, we can remind ourselves that the only truth right now is that we don’t know what the future will hold. What the future will bring has a lot to do with how we behave in this moment.  But still, the only real truth is uncertainty.

Feeling peaceful in a world such as ours is not easy, and often we can’t do it alone. Now is a time to consider asking for help. We can talk to a counsellor, close friend, therapist, spiritual advisor. We’re all in this together; we can help each other even when we feel like we can’t help ourselves, or the world. 

Remember too, the only thing that ever stays the same is change. As wild as this ride is at present, it is the ride for now. This too shall pass. The only thing that's 100 percent certain is that our world will change.

So if you do these 5 things, you will start to calm the Chaos in your Mind.

Everything that usually seems important suddenly isn’t in light of the current uncertainty. We are only human - not bulletproof. They say that every crisis has three things:

1: A solution

2: An expiry date

3: Personal and Collective lessons.

This is a time for us to decipher what the lessons are and focus on looking after ourselves. We need to put in the effort to protect our mind and body to stay stable, strong, and present. We will get through this so we just need to hang on tight to what we can control and focus on moving forward one tiny step at a time ...

I know that you might feel like you’ve been punched in the gut  but Learning how to stay calm in serious chaos, is a vital tool that will help you improve your life. The main key to managing your internal chaos and creating a peaceful mind is PAYING ATTENTION. Pay attention to where your mind automatically goes, and don’t blindly follow it.

1: Get Back To You

2: Use Your Power To Choose

3: Take Action and Move

4: Stimulate Your Brain; Use It Or Lose It

5: Release The Valve With Help

“Remember that life doesn’t get easier just as the universe does not get less complex. But YOU get stronger, you learn to cope better to have perspective to be more conscious and joyous and grateful even amid the noise and chaos and hardship. “ Brendon Burchard.

Enjoy folks, thank you for joining me please share this blog post if it resonated with you or if you think it will resonate with someone else. See you on the next episode until then, stay safe, keep learning and unlocking your potential one day at a time.